Thursday, August 7, 2014

I'm Getting Paid to Write This

My life is officially back on track!! 

As you may remember, loyal reader, a year ago my life was in shambles, quite literally. We had left our last remaining boxes of items on our front porch, tied the leash to the cat, and headed east. When we arrived, we had a bit of culture shock. Everyone in Maine is white. The best burrito in town is from Chipotle. It was a little disconcerting. We also had to slowly replace all the items we sold or ditched in San Francisco. When we moved in, we didn't own any tables so we had to keep putting our glasses on the ground. A couple broken glasses later and we bought a table. We didn't have anywhere to sit so we bought a couch. We grabbed a bed, a mattress, some pots and pans, and before you knew it we were moved in. (Not literally. It felt like an eternity. Life is low when you don't even have a trash can, so you make a trash pile and you just keep sweeping the floor toward the pile.)

Anyway, we got moved in and then had to get jobs. Luckily, we each found a job quickly. Unluckily, they were... year-round jobs. What. is. that? Why would that even be a thing? Isn't it 2014? I didn't understand. "Year-round? Is that a metaphor?"I asked. People thought I was being funny. 1) I don't have to try to be funny.  2) I was so dead serious. I started the job in July. J-U-L-Y. I was actually still getting paid from my last job! Why was I working a new job? What is life? How is this happening to me? The job was cool, but like, did you hear the part about it being year-round? And I had to work nights like I'm a damn nurse or delivery driver. Well, I'm not a delivery driver anymore, so obviously I quit. YOLO.

I just got a new job as a 6th grade language arts teacher which means:
1) My official work day is over at 2:20pm
2) No nights
3) No weekends
4) Summers off
5) 6th graders are afraid of the world
6) More Lion King references
7) I will get paid all of the time constantly and be rich

If you disagree with any of those statements, please keep it to yourself. I'M GETTING PAID TO WRITE THIS SO I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT.

Also, this is where I live now:

1 comment:

  1. the world is returning to its natural order. HUZZAH